Digging
by Steph-hime
Summary: NOT slash (for once). Harry decides to have a bit of fun, Hermione, Ron, Snape and Draco get involved in their own little way


Disclaimer: *Laughs* You thing I own? Sorry, wrong person.

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Warnings: my attempt at humour, be scared.

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For: Martyn and Gemma; who gave me the idea, Kari; for the clueless!Harry muse which is trying to replace evil!Harry, and Ty; for beta-reading at such short notice.

~#~

It was Harry Potter's second week back in his fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, unfortunately before mentioned boy was unsurprisingly missing.  
"Ron where is he?" Hermione stressed, rubbing her temples, already she could feel a headache appearing.  
"I don't know, I found his wand though." Ron said, fingering the holly and phoenix feather wand.  
"Right, we're going to split up and find him." Hermione sighed, "I'll look outside and you check the common room and Great Hall."  
"Sure." Ron said, making his way towards the common room which happened to be closer.

~#~

Hermione had walked virtually around the whole of the castle before she noticed the large hole in the ground next to a cherry blossom tree. Carefully she walked to the edge and peered in, where she found Harry with a spade, looking very dirty.  
"What are you doing?" She asked.  
"Digging."  
"I can see that but why?" Hermione asked, becoming irritated.  
"Why not?"  
"Come out of the hole now Harry James Potter!" She demanded.  
"No."  
"Fine, I'm going to get Ron, maybe he can talk you into coming out." Hermione shouted, before storming off towards the entrance.

~#~

Ron, having left Harry's wand by his bed, was walking at a leisurely pace towards the Great Hall.  
"Mr Weasley, what are you doing loitering in the corridors?" Snape sneered, feeling the opportunity to knock points from Gryffindor house.  
"I wasn't loitering, I was walking." Ron answered.  
"Five points from Gryffindor for answering back!" Snape said, a faint smile tugging at the edges of his lips.  
Ron muttered something very unpleasant, before resuming his journey.

~#~

"…using an amount of gel, I slick my hair back and finish with hairspray." Drco Malfoy explained, demonstrating as he walked with Pansy. He didn't mention that he used a whole tub of gel and half a can of hairspray. "Why does my hair interest you so much?"  
"Your hairstyle is all the range, it's in Teen Witch Weekly!" Pansy shrieked.  
Draco shuddered, "I doubt anyone can get their hair as perfect as mi-argh!" Draco, not looking where he was walking, had fell into Harry's hole. "What do you think you're doing Scarface?" Draco shouted.  
"Digging."  
"Why?"  
"Why not?"  
"Get me out of here now!" Draco demanded.  
"Can't."  
"Why not?"  
"I haven't got my wand."  
Draco sighed, and reached into his own pocket, only to find that his wand was not there, and responded by muttering a string of colourful swear words.  
"Draco darling are you okay?" Pansy asked, looking into the hole, which Harry had started to dig again.  
"Get. Me. Out. Of. Here. Now." Draco said, accentuating each word.  
"I'll go get Professor Snape." She said, before retreating.  
"Look's like you're stuck, grab a shovel." Harry said.  
"What are you trying to do? Tunnel to China?" Draco sneered.  
"I'm just digging." Harry explained.  
"But for what purpose?"  
"No purpose, just digging."  
"You've finally lost it, congratulations Potter." Draco said, sarcasm oozing from every word.  
"Nah, just digging."  
"For Merlin's sake!" Draco shouted in frustration, scaring the birds in before mentioned cherry blossom tree.

~#~

Ron, having searched the Great Hall and not found Harry, left and decided to go outside to find Hermione. He saw Pansy run past, obviously upset about something and as he watched her dimming figure, he edged, without knowing, towards the hole, before he finally fell in. He noticed that he was now lying on something quite squashy, but solid at the same time.  
"Get off me!" Malfoy shouted, causing Ron to roll onto the ground and dirty his new robes.  
"Ron!" Harry exclaimed.  
"Harry? What are you doing?"  
"What does it look like?" Draco answered, looking extremely annoyed.  
"Bloody hell, did you do this on your own?" Ron asked.  
Harry nodded in response, "Want to help?"  
Ron grabbed a spade and started to dig, before remembering one vital detail, "Hermione!"  
"Oh, she's already seen me, she got really narked." Harry explained.  
"I'm not surprised!" Malfoy explained.

~#~

Hermione decided to follow Pansy, upon hearing her sob 'Draco', 'Potter', and 'Hole', and ended up outside the dungeon's where Pansy was sobbing to Professor Snape.  
"Now, now." Snape said, growing impatient, "Where are they?"  
"Outside, by that (sniff) cherry blossom tree." Pansy cried.  
"Fine, I'll go get them out, no doubt Dumbledore finds this highly amusing." Snape complained, before standing and exiting the room, where he found himself face to face with Hermione.  
"Miss Granger, can I help you?" Snape asked, malice in his voice.  
"I was just coming to tell you about Harry, Draco and the hole." She said, lying.  
"Follow me." Snape said, turning, which caused his black robes to billow behind him.  
Snape and Hermione walked out of the dungeons, and then out of the castle, towards the hole.  
"What's Potter up to this time?" Snape muttered.  
"He's not up to anything, he's just digging." Hermione answered, causing Snape to scowl at her.  
They reached the hole, and Snape peered in, finding Harry, Ron and Draco, the later one trying to avoid the soil that was being tossed haphazardly out of the hole.  
"Potter, stop now." Snape said.  
"Oh, hello professor." Harry said, acknowledging the presence of the potions master.   
"Get out of this hole now." Snape demanded.  
"I haven't got my wand."  
Snape sighed, and reached into his robes, pulling out his own wand, and performing a levitating charm on the three boys. "I suggest you go and have a shower and clean up, whilst I fill this hole Mr Potter has so kindly bestowed to the school."

~#~

Later that evening, when the three boys had gotten cleaned up, the Gryffindor Golden Trio were sitting in the common room watching a game of exploding snap.  
"So Harry why were you digging?" Hermione asked.  
"I dunno, I just felt like digging." Harry answered, causing Ron and Hermione to groan.

~#~

Steph-hime: I know, not my best, but I felt like writing a bit of humour after all my dark fics I've been uploading recently.  
Leather pants!Draco: makes a change for you to write a story with no ships.  
Steph-hime: Draco/Harry all the way! *waves Draco/Harry flag*  
Clueless!Harry: R+R please.  



End file.
